Because all of us know people who are struggling with anxiety, some advice.
Very simple, very easy to follow, but they will need your help sticking to the regime (and if you’re the one struggling, you’ll need a beloved to help you stay on track).
Firstly, you cannot cure anxiety with the same thing that created it. What I mean by this that you can’t talk yourself out of anxiety with your mind, you cannot rationalise or negotiate with it. All that happens when you do this is that you end up in a perpetual conversation with yourself, wondering why you can’t ever move on and feeling bad about it.
Anxiety is not rational, therefore your rational mind cannot help you (and nor can anyone else’s, for those of you addicted to telling friends about all of your worries and hoping it will help).
Let the anxiety be.
There is one simple thing that you need to do:
make your body a safe place for your mind to live in.
This is how:
Breathing practice. Every day, at least twice.
Exercise. It doesn’t matter what, for how long or where. A walk is as good as a run here, yoga as good as a workout. If you can’t stick to things, don’t - hit the gym for three weeks, then get bored, do yoga for a month, then switch to Park Runs. It doesn’t matter what, it only matters that you do it. Every day for at least 20 minutes.
Don’t take anything personally. It’s a hard one this, so practice. You’re good, you have enough friends, you have people who love you. Sometimes someone won’t like you, love you, talk to you kindly. Get over it and move on (never, ever waste time trying to persuade them they are wrong about you).
Choose one therapy that helps you and do it. Every month. Massage, tapping, talking therapy, facial, whatever.
Consistency is king.
The world will keep throwing shit at you. The only way to handle it is to ensure that your own body, with all of its chemicals, hormones, joints, muscles and mechanisms is a safe place for your mind and soul to live.
The trouble is that the anxious get distracted very easily. This is why you need someone to help you stay on track.
The trouble is that the anxious don’t like people helping them to stay on track, so they don’t bother with that bit. Then they wake up 3 months later in a mental stew wondering how and when they stopped going for that weekly wild swim that made them feel 100 times better.
Do you see how simple this is, but how hard it is to stick to it when you are an anxious person. If you want to help your beloved with their anxiety, help them to do the 4 things above, that’s all. Every day, every week, forever.
Love them, love yourself.
Instead of hoping for what can never be (a safe, predictable world) let your body/their body become the safe home you/they are longing for.