Maintaining Equilibrium

Living in balance feels good and brings good.

When doing balances in yoga, the body makes constant micro-adjustments to achieve equilibrium. Being in balance is not a static state of perfection, it is an ever-shifting flow. Maintaining equlibrium in life is just the same.

Life is a smörgåsbord of events, emotions and demands. Any honest monk or nun will tell you that even those who withdraw from normal life experience this same turmoil every single day. There’s no escape from the reality of being human.

The cure is not self-recrimination as you lose your temper, burn out, fall ill, feel hopeless, can’t sleep, worry, overeat, forget to eat, become anxious, overfill your day again …
<<Fill in the blank here - you know the things that await you when you lose your balance in life>>

The cure is paying attention.

Learn how to pay attention and you’ll notice when you’ve been pulled out of balance. Then you can introduce counterpose - the simple things that bring you back towards composure and poise, health and steadiness.

And oh, it doesn’t matter how many times you lose your balance in life if the result is that you are always finding new and better ways to restore it.

Radical Self Care

Self care is not what we’ve been sold.

We do not do self care to make ourselves into better humans, or so that we have more to give. We do it simply because we are worth taking care of.

We are often urged to do self care because an empty pot fills no cups, as if the only reason for caring for ourselves is so that we can be more for other people.

But self care is more radical than this. It is looking after yourself because you are thing of great beauty and intrinsic value. You are worth taking care of before you even get up in the morning, or do anything for anyone. Your value is not to be measured by how much you have to give, any more than a tree’s value is how much shade it gives on a hot day.

You care for your beloveds because you love them and you want them to be well, not so that they will have more to give, or be better humans. Now do this for yourself.

Care for yourself truly. It is good for you and you too have needs that want to be met. Do it with joy and without needing to explain it to anyone else.

See what happens then in your one beautiful life.

How to Feel Safe

Humans have been negotiating with the idea of safety for as long as we’ve been human. Being able to plan, communicate and control life more than any other living creature, the viccissitudes of life trouble us: we’d like to be able to control them too.

Perhaps it is only the yogis and the Buddhists who tell us the truth: life is random and sorrows will come no matter what you do to fend them off or how much you deny their existence. Knees are grazed, tears fall.

Better than seeking to control the uncontrollable, let us learn how to be comfortable with discomfort, calm in the face of trials, accepting when things go wrong. Let us learn how to feel safe in our own skin, confident that we will be able to cope, let us teach our families how to be resilient, not afraid.

It is trite to say that there is a lesson in everything (tell that to the grieving mother), but there is wisdom to be gained from the dark places, wisdom and growing compassion for others in trouble, this we know.

This work, the work of remaining calm and accepting, open and trusting requires us to let go of old hurts and sorrows. Failing once is not your sign never to try again. Losing once is not your sign to hold on more tightly to what is left. The work is ongoing, because the challenges are ongoing - every day a reason to close off, every day therefore a reason to practice staying open.

Tat Tvam Asi the yogis tell us, everything is connected. There is more to this world than any human can ever understand, so stop trying to work out how to control it all and try learning how to live in peace instead.